ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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