i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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