I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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