I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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