I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize