just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize