tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize