just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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