I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize