Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
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my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
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I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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