these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize