It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize