Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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