flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize