We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
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She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
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Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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