Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
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If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
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I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
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