Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize