She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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