Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The best revenge is premature balding
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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