you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize