My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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