Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
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and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
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Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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