we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize