Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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