So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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