the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize