Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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