drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize