I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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