PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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