i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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