Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
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