My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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