have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize