there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize