I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize