I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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