it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize