Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
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I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
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Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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