The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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