i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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