bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize