I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize