if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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