it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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