The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize