i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
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Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
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Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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