how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
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You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
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Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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