every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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