I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize