I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize