it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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